It’s Charity Bowl time once again everybody! It has been for a couple days too, and it isn’t looking great for the Illini. All of that probably makes no sense, so I’ll explain it by answering NUMBER questions.
1. What is the Charity Bowl?
The Charity Bowl is a weeklong giving campaign put on by the spiritual EDSBS crew, mainly Holly Anderson. It started on Monday and ends tomorrow. Basically, fans donate money to New American Pathways in the name of their college, usually in dollar amounts that reflect a score that’s important or some stat that’s important to their team or something along those lines. Basically, hundreds of college athletics fans donate money, and Michigan always wins.
2. What is New American Pathways?
New American Pathways is a charity in Atlanta, Georgia that helps new immigrants and refugees successfully settle in America. You can learn all about them here (https://newamericanpathways.org/). It’s a very good cause.
3. How is Illinois doing?
Ohio State in 3rd place in the B1G, just like we drew it up: pic.twitter.com/nqqVgrcGoE— NewAmericanPathways (@newampaths) April 14, 2021
Like, second-to-last-in-the-B1G-but-only-ahead-of-Rutgers-so-it-really-feels-like-last bad.
4. How can I help (both new immigrants and Illinois’ standing)?
Go here or if that’s too small, click on this URL: (https://app.mobilecause.com/e/BzZbrQ?vid=i5ctm) and follow the steps. For the second part, be sure to find “ILLINOIS, UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS” in the dropdown menu. The other option is to text “charitybowl21” (without the quotes of course) to 91999 if you would like to do it by phone.
5. How much should I donate?
Ok, here’s a list in increasing order with some reasoning to go with it. There is a processing fee to go along with it, so your total won’t be exactly this, but you can explain it when you donate. Feel free to multiply and combine these as you wish.
$14.00 – A dollar for every yard Blake Hayes oh so elegantly rushed for against Nebraska this season.
$15.04 – A penny for every point Ayo Dosunmu scored in the Orange and Blue
$16.60 – October 29, 1983 - Illinois 16, Michigan 6
$19.83 – Only one football team has beaten every team in the Big Ten in a season, your 1983 Fighting Illini.
$19.89 – In honor of the greatest (well, the most fun at least) college basketball team to ever grace this earth, the Flying Illini.
$20.03 – In honor of the greatest college tennis team to ever grace this earth, who ended up winning the singles, doubles, and team titles in the same year.
$20.05 – In honor of the greatest basketball team to ever grace this earth.
$21.70 – Area code of Champaign-Urbana
$24.23 – McCourt…for the win…in the air (IT’S GOOD)…it is up… and it is, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
$28.00 – A dollar for each week REO Speedwagon’s “Keep on Loving You” was on the Billboard Charts
$31.95 – A penny for each receiving yard David Williams had in his college career
$32.19 – Illinois owns a 32-19 lead in the Braggin’ Rights series.
$35.89 – The final score for the Illinois men’s gymnastics team at the NCAA Championships in 2012: 358.850, good enough for the title.
$41.23 – Good game Nebraska. Thanks for bringing back B1G football.
$41.70 – Fourth and 17, also known as 4th and Bhebhe. You knew where the ball was going. Every Illini fan did as well. Somehow the Michigan State Spartans didn’t.
$52.00 – Hey, you know who beat a very good Michigan team this year? Illini men’s tennis, by a score of 5-2.
$54.70 – DaMonte Williams’ percentage from deep this season (54.7%)
$70.00 – A dollar for every minute Matic Vesel had in his illustrious Illini career
$76.53 – Remember that night you ascended to a higher plane this March? When Illini men’s basketball went to Ann Arbor and beat the #2 Michigan Wolverines without Ayo? Oh, you do? You definitely do? Ah, well, the score was 76-53 as you know. There’s a dollar amount to reflect it.
$78.00 – A dollar for every dunk Kofi Cockburn had in his Illini career (so far).
$80.75 – 2021 Iowa basketball hate, part 1
$82.71 – 2021 Iowa basketball hate, part 2 (Big Ten Tournament Remix)
$90.89 – Williams could tie it with a 3….HE DOES! (cuts to shot of Bill Murray losing his mind)
$91.88 – Your 2021 Big Ten (tournament) Champion Illini men’s basketball team. Took overtime, but we will be hanging a banner next season.
$100.00 – A dollar for each of Zeke Clark’s wins in singles play in his career.
Again, these are just suggestions. Multiply and add some of these together. Find your own spiteful dollar amount. Just give what you can. The link again: https://app.mobilecause.com/e/BzZbrQ?vid=i1gpk
Let’s get a good Fake Rally going.