Champaign Problems

Taylor Swift back at it again with another story of a toxic relationship. This time referencing champagne. This past weekend once again proved the relationship between Illinois Athletics and its fanbase is a toxic one.

(I’m truly sorry for writing this.)

You took the drive south for a reason

So you could sit there in this hurt

Retired blue blood or sleeping giant

You’re not sure which is worse

//

Because you stopped taking us dancing

No one left in the Block I standing

Were we too demanding?

Champaign problems

My memories in your hallways

Your logos in our houses

Picked up our hat, then dropped it

Champaign problems

//

I called you family for a reason

You couldn’t keep it going

Northwestern, two division titles

Now we’re never celebrating

//

Aged Malort, you brought it

No Chicago recruits came callin’

Our Big Ten friends called it

Champaign problems

You had a scheme, you’re schemeless

Lovie Smith, 5 losing seasons

And we couldn’t give a reason

Champaign problems

//

I can still remember the Final Four

Brisk March air and orange galore

“This Farm was once a madhouse”

I made a joke, “Well, it can be again”

What a dream, our rose bowl season

Don’t think we’ll say those words again

And they’ll steal thy happy children of the future

That we once knew

Some left for the money, some for the glory

Our coaches needed more time, that was the story

Sometimes you just don’t know the answer

‘Til someone on IllinoisLoyalty asks you

“He would’ve been a legend for us to cheer;

But we only want guys who want to be here” they said

But you’ll find Ayo one day, don’t be sad

He’ll bring back those feelings you once had

//

Underwood will take you dancing

A whole state proudly standing

And they’ll have trouble understanding

Our champaign problems

My memories in your hallways

Your logos in our houses

We won’t forget all our

Champaign problems