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Relive the entire Illinois Football season in 12 sentences

You know you want to.

NCAA Football: Illinois at Michigan State Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

Here’s the first sentence (or sentences) of each of our recaps at TCR this season.

Week 1: Illinois 42, Akron 3

  • Another blowout at Memorial Stadium, except this time it goes in Illinois’ favor.

Week 2: Illinois 31, UCONN 23

  • Sept. 15, 2007 at Syracuse. The Orange and Blue defeated the Orange, 41-20. Then, Illinois didn’t win another non-conference road game until Saturday.

Week 3: EMU 34, Illinois. 31

  • Too little too late for Illinois.

Week 4: Nebraska 42, Illinois 38

  • That’s not the way you want to start off conference play.

Week 6: Minnesota 40, Illinois 17

  • Same game, different stadium. A defense that can’t stop the run. An ineffective offense. And some questionable coaching at the end of the first half.

Week 7: Michigan 42, Illinois 25

  • When asked about Illinois’ current situation compared to his own in the 1960s, legendary linebacker Dick Butkus offered a bit of advice for the Illini players: “You can get your ass beat, but you can let them know, ‘That’s a hell of a team.’” Well, they definitely got their asses beat, but they never gave up.

Week 8: Illinois 24, Wisconsin 23

  • James McCourt says he couldn’t breathe at the bottom of the pile.

Week 9: Illinois 24, Purdue 6

  • So you’re saying there’s a chance.

Week 10: Illinois 38, Rutgers 10

  • Illinois finally woke up in third quarter. Now, they have a chance at a bowl game.

Week 11: Illinois 37, MSU 34

  • History.

Week 13: Iowa 19, Illinois 10

  • If anything, the game was more competitive than last year’s edition in Champaign.

Week 14: Northwestern 29, Illinois 10

  • A year ago, Illinois’ last home game was a heartbreaking loss. This year, Illinois ended its season with another loss, only this one was a different type of heartbreak.