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You Bet Your Ass Week 9

Never gamble.

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Last week I did ok with my picks going 3-3-1, and my overall picks record is a respectable 32-36-1. Not good, but respetable. Unfortunately, I am very bad at placing bets in this game. I bet the minimum $25 bet on three games last week, and those were the only three I picked correctly. In fact, I’ve made 6 $100 bets in this game this year while going (1-5) in those picks.

So the end story is if I ever feel 100% confident that something is going to happen, that thing will not happen, guaranteed. I am fully confident that Red Dead Remdemption II will suck. (There, using my powers for good).

Also welcome Austin Jabs out of last place again, and welcome Thumpasaurus, the competitions early leader, to the bottom of this awful, nasty, disgusting, terrible, no-good leaderboard.

Anyways, let’s get to these picks.

Here’s a reminder of the rules before we get to this week’s gambling picks:

  • Each participant will bet on every Big Ten game being played that weekend, and they can bet either the point spread or the over/under
  • The participant will assign an amount to their bet, which can be either $25, $50 or $100. Each participant is allowed only one $100 bet per week. Everybody starts with a $0 balance, and balances can be negative
  • Standings are by money with overall picks record serving as the tiebreaker.

Indiana @ Minnesota (+2.5), O/U 54

Birkhead: $100 Under 54

Repplinger: $100 Indiana (-2.5)

Jabs: $50 Minnesota (+2.5)

O’Neall: $50 Indiana (+2.5)

Huisinga: $50 Indiana (+2.5)

Thumpasaurus: $100 Indiana (+2.5)

Schaer: $50 Indiana (+2.5)

Jabs - Maybe Minnesota keeps it close. I don’t know. I’m really bad at this.

Thumpasaurus - Indiana desperately needs this game, while Minnesota is focused on the future. Sisyphus gets the boulder almost all the way up the mountain.

#20 Wisconsin @ Northwestern (+7), O/U 51

Birkhead: $50 Wisconsin (-7)

Repplinger: $50 Wisconsin (-7)

Jabs: $50 Under 51

O’Neall: $50 Under 51

Huisinga: $25 Northwestern (+7)

Thumpasaurus: $25 Northwestern (+7)

Schaer: $50 Under 51

Thumpasaurus - This is going to be the stupidest game you’ve ever seen.

Birkhead - False. I’ve once seen the eventual 1-15 St. Louis Rams beat the eventual 0-16 Detroit Lions.

Purdue (+2.5) @ Michigan State, O/U 51

Birkhead: $25 Michigan State (-2.5)

Repplinger: $50 Purdue (+2.5)

Jabs: $50 Michigan State (-2.5)

O’Neall: $50 Purdue (+2.5)

Huisinga: $50 Michigan State (+2.5)

Thumpasaurus: $50 Purdue (+2.5)

Schaer: $25 Purdue (+2.5)

Thumpasaurus - The injuries mount for MSU. Purdue won’t play as well as they did last week, but they won’t need to. Lewerke’s regression has been startling, and there’s no more offensive playmakers.

#18 Iowa (+6.5) @ #17 Penn State, O/U 53

Birkhead: $50 Under 53

Repplinger: $50 Penn State (-6.5)

Jabs: $50 Over 53

O’Neall: $25 Iowa (+6.5)

Huisinga: $25 Over 53

Thumpasaurus: $50 Iowa (+6.5)

Schaer: $25 Over 53

Repplinger - Lions are going to expose that Iowa secondary...LET IT FLYYYY.

Thumpasaurus - GIVE IT TO ME GIVE IT TO ME GIMME THE STUFF. that sweet Iowa-defense-exposes-Trace-McSorley-as-a-fraud stuff. Yooooooooooooooooo HO - Thumpasaurus

Illinois (+18) @ Maryland, O/U 52

Birkhead: $25 Under 52

Repplinger: $50 Illinois (+18)

Jabs: $100 Illinois (+18)

O’Neall: $100 Over 52

Huisinga: $100 Maryland (-18)

Thumpasaurus: $25 Illinois (+18)

Schaer: $25 Illinois (+18)

O’Neall - I work under the assumption Illinois opponents will score 40 every game. Illinois can get 12.

Money on the Line This Week

Birkhead: $250

Repplinger: $300

Jabs: $300

O’Neall: $275

Huisinga: $250

Thumpasaurus: $250

Schaer: $175

Standings

  1. Repplinger -$400 (29-40), Last Week $0 (3-4)
  2. Schaer -$500 (28-40-1), Last Week -$100 (2-4-1)
  3. Birkhead -$525 (32-36-1), Last Week -$125 (3-3-1)
  4. Huisinga -$575 (28-40-1), Last Week -$50 (2-4-1)
  5. Jabs -$700 (26-43), Last Week $0 (3-4)
  6. O’Neall -$725 (27-41-1), Last Week -$250 (1-5-1)
  7. Thumpasaurus -$750 (28-41), Last Week -$225 (1-6)