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In preparation for the NFL Draft, folks at the SB Nation mothership have put together a Bull*** Draft Scouting Report Generator. It's amazing and y'all should give it a try.
But before you click on the above link, we decided to figure out which TCR writer has the best shot at the NFL--because this is the only way to truly decide.
Vainisi
I may not have the highest ceiling in this draft, but, damn it, I'm gonna try my hardest out there. The only problem is that I've never voted in an election; for all the general managers know they could be drafting a communist. So overall I'd say that's a pretty valid concern. #ThanksObama
Primiano
"Night blindness" actually means "blacking out every night after consuming Fireball." The evaluators just wanted to be nice.
Silich
This is an incomplete scouting report. Before GM's can truly make a decision on Silich, they'll need to know what he was watching on Netflix. The difference between House of Cards and scientology documentaries can be the deciding factor in a game.
Cain
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a 300 pound lineman. Look for Cain to be a mid-late first round pick.
Vallese
Making bread is a complicated process, but the NFL is a complicated league. It's not looking good for Trevor.
Repplinger
Don't be embarrassed, Brad, this should be an easy fix with a little hard work. Just click here and we'll get it all straightened out.
Smith
MOVE ON FROM CALL OF DUTY, BRYCE.
Fishel
All hail the .GIF master.
*****
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