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You Bet Your Ass: Week 1

The greatest gambling feature of all returns for its second season.

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I know some people may have been worried that once benevolent site founder Fornelli left, some of our most cherished and self-serving traditions would be lost to time and Google caches. Worry not, as I will never allow that to be so. Like those annoying birds returning to announce that it's officially spring, YBYA rises from the depths to warn you that football season is ready to absorb your weekends until the cold comes for you.

I am the only survivor from last season's quartet. This saddens me greatly. I tend to throw off my sadness by surrounding myself with people. And thus, this year's YBYA cast is massive. The degenerate gamblers this year include Jim Vainisi, Mark Primiano, Matt Silich, Aaron Rench, Brandon Cain, Bryce Smith, Trevor Vallese, Collin Whitchurch, and contest winner Wesley Darin.

In case you don't remember the rules/concept or just don't know about it, it's really simple.

  • Each participant will bet on every Big Ten game being played that weekend, and they can bet either the point spread or the over/under.
  • The participant will assign an amount to their bet, which can be either $25, $50 or $100. Each participant is allowed only one $100 bet per week. Everybody starts with a $0 balance, and balances can be negative.

And at the end of the year, we mock the loser (or as I like to call them, the Birkhead) mercilessly.

Youngstown State vs Illinois, Over/Under: 50

Primiano: $25 on Over 50

Smith: $50 on Over 50

Silich: $50 on Over 50

Whitchurch: $100 on Over 50

Darin: $100 on Over 50

Rench: $25 on Over 50

Vainisi: $100 on Over 50

Vallese: $50 on Over 50

Cain: $50 on Under 50

Smith: They're penguins. How well can they tackle?

Florida Atlantic vs Nebraska (-24), Over/Under: 51

Primiano: $25 on Under 51

Smith: $25 on Over 51

Silich: $25 on Over 51

Whitchurch: $25 on Florida Atlantic +24

Darin: $25 on Nebraska -24

Rench: $25 on Over 51

Vainisi: $25 on Nebraska -24

Vallese: $100 on Over 51

Cain: $50 on Over 51

Primiano: It's the Pelini Bowl!

California vs Northwestern (-13), Over/Under: 61

Primiano: $25 on Cal +13

Smith: $25 on Cal +13

Silich: $50 on Under 61

Whitchurch: $25 on Cal +13

Darin: $25 on Cal +13

Rench: $50 on Under 61

Vainisi: $25 on Northwestern -13

Vallese: $50 on Under 61

Cain: $50 on Under 61

Whitchurch: Is Cal really that bad that the 'Cats are favored this highly?

Appalachian State vs Michigan (-35), Over/Under: 50

Primiano: $50 on Over 50

Smith: $50 on Over 50

Silich: $50 on Over 50

Whitchurch: $25 on Over 50

Darin: $25 on Appalachian State +35

Rench: $25 on Appalachian State +35

Vainisi: $50 on Over 50

Vallese: $25 on Under 50

Cain: $25 on Over 50

Darin: Michigan views this as a revenge game for '07, but since no one on their team was even old enough to drive at that point, it may be overblown.

Ohio State (-19) vs Navy, Over/Under: 63

Primiano: $25 on Ohio State -19

Smith: $100 on Ohio State -19

Silich: $25 on Under 63

Whitchurch: $25 on Under 63

Darin: $25 on Under 63

Rench: $25 on Navy +19

Vainisi: $25 on Under 63

Vallese: $50 on Over 63

Cain: $50 on Over 63

Rench: There is a chance that Navy wins outright, but I wouldn't be willing to bet for that.

Penn State (-1) vs Central Florida, Over/Under: 47

Primiano: $50 on Penn State -1

Smith: $25 on Central Florida +1

Silich: $25 on Under 47

Whitchurch: $25 on Penn State -1

Darin: $25 on Central Florida +1

Rench: $25 on Central Florida +1

Vainisi: $50 on Penn State -1

Vallese: $25 on Over 47

Cain: $50 on Over 47

Cain: Let it fly, James Franklin

Western Michigan vs Purdue (-12), Over/Under: 53

Primiano: $50 on Purdue -12

Smith: $25 on Purdue -12

Silich: $100 on Purdue -12

Whitchurch: $25 on Western Michigan +12

Darin: $50 on Western Michigan +12

Rench: $100 on Under 53

Vainisi: $25 on Western Michigan +12

Vallese: $50 on Under 53

Cain: $25 on Over 53

Primiano: Western Michigan was one of the few teams notably worse than Purdue last year. Let that soak in.

Rutgers vs Washington State (-8), Over/Under: 60

Primiano: $25 on Washington State -8

Smith: $25 on Over 60

Silich: $25 on Washington State -8

Whitchurch: $50 on Washington State -8

Darin: $25 on Washington State -8

Rench: $100 on Washington State -8

Vainisi: $25 on Over 60

Vallese: $25 on Under 60

Cain: $50 on Under 60

Rench: Mike Leach+WSU QB Connor Halliday+Rutgers' 122nd ranked pass defense in 2013=tons of WSU points.

Louisiana State (-4.5) vs Wisconsin, Over/Under: 51

Primiano: $100 on Louisiana State -4.5

Smith: $25 on Wisconsin +4.5

Silich: $25 on Under 51

Whitchurch: $50 on Louisiana State -4.5

Darin: $25 on Wisconsin +4.5

Rench: $50 on Louisiana State -4.5

Vainisi: $25 on Under 51

Vallese: $25 on Over 51

Cain: $100 on Over 51

Whitchurch: Big Ten team away from Big Ten country against an SEC power? Yes, please.

Money On The Line This Week

Primiano: $375

Smith: $350

Silich: $375

Whitchurch: $350

Darin: $325

Rench: $425

Vainisi: $350

Vallese: $400

Cain: $450

Season Record (Bankroll)

Primiano: $0

Smith:$0

Silich: $0

Whitchurch: $0

Darin: $0

Rench:$0

Vainisi: $0

Vallese: $0

Cain: $0