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You Bet Your Ass: Week 5

Even when Cassidy loses he wins.

We've got a very limited slate this week as there are only four games in the Big Ten. We've got two conference games and two games against MAC opponents, and obviously that includes our own game against Miami (Ohio).

All of which means that Jack Cassidy won't have much of a chance to have a losing record and make money anyway.

You see, last week was the week we were all waiting for. After going 8-4 in each of the first three weeks, Cassidy stumbled in Week Four. Jack went 4-6 on the week while Mark, Brandon and myself combined to go 22-8.

But you know what else that bastard Cassidy did? Even though he had a losing record on the week he still had an overall profit, as he ended up winning $50 last week. Sure, it wasn't as much as the rest of us made, but this bastard has now had a week when he's gone 8-4 and made no money, and a losing record in a week he was profitable.

The son of a bitch is a wizard.

Anyway, here's how You Bet Your Ass works.

Each participant will bet on every Big Ten game being played that weekend, and they can bet either the point spread or the over/under.

The participant will assign an amount to their bet, which can be either $25, $50 or $100. Each participant is allowed only one $100 bet per week. Everybody starts with a $0 balance, and balances can be negative.

Now let's get started with the picks so we can see how Jack wins $500 while going 0-4 this week.

Illinois (-24.5) vs. Miami (Ohio), Over/Under: 52

Fornelli: $25 on Illinois -24.5

Primiano: $100 on Illinois -24.5

Birkhead: $50 on Illinois -24.5

Cassidy: $50 on Over 52

From Primiano: Miami (OH) might be contending for worst team in the BCS subdivision this year. That gives me enough confidence to pop my $100 bet cherry.

From Fornelli: It's not that I don't believe in the Illini, but I'm really not comfortable risking more than the minimum when it comes to Illinois needing to cover four scores. Prove me wrong, defense.

Purdue vs. Northern Illinois (-3.5), Over/Under: 60

Fornelli: $50 on Under 60

Primiano: $50 on Northern Illinois -3.5

Birkhead: $50 on Northern Illinois -3.5

Cassidy: $25 on Northern Illinois -3.5

From Primiano: If the Huskies can beat Iowa, they should have no problem stomping the conference doormat.

From Birkhead: It's Purdue for God's sake.

From Fornelli: Am I the only one that saw Northern struggle with Eastern Illinois last week?

Minnesota vs. Iowa (-1), Over/Under: 47

Fornelli: $25 on Minnesota +1

Primiano: $25 on Minnesota +1

Birkhead: $50 on Minnesota +1

Cassidy: $25 on Iowa -1

From Cassidy: Here's the thing about the Big Ten: At least -- at least! -- once a week you get snoozefests like this.

From Fornelli: This point spread is just Las Vegas saying "we don't want to watch either."

Ohio State (-7) vs. Wisconsin, Over/Under: 54.5

Fornelli: $50 on Wisconsin +7

Primiano: $25 on Ohio State -7

Birkhead: $25 on Wisconsin +7

Cassidy: $50 on Ohio State -7

From Cassidy: If I say "Go Bucky" am I cheering for Ohio State or Wisconsin's mascot?

From Birkhead: I like the Badgers defense more than Ohio State's defense, and Wisconsin's running game is so good. I'm going to go with the upset.

Money On The Line This Week

Fornelli: $150

Primiano: $200

Birkhead: $175

Cassidy: $150

Standings (Last Week)

1. Cassidy 28-18, $600 (4-8, $50)

2. Primiano 25-21, $100 (7-3, $150)

3. Fornelli 24-22, $100 (7-3, $200)

4. Birkhead 21-25 $75, (8-2, $325)

Follow The Champaign Room on Twitter at @Champaign_Room and Like us on Facebook. You can follow Tom Fornelli on Twitter at @TomFornelli.