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Do You Want Fighting Illini Pants?

Because if you do, you should be jealous of this guy.

Yup. These are a thing.
Yup. These are a thing.
Mark "Devilishly Handsome" Primiano

It's a little-known fact, but I did not get into the blog game for the money and crowds of swooning women. Those things don't exist, well, not in large quantities. But every now and then something magical happens. Something ... like pants.

Since we launched the Champaign Room last fall, I've been put on some very strange email lists. One man continues to think I want bizarre books written about athletes. But one month ago I received what is easily the strangest email that has ever come from my five years of blogging.

Hey Mark,

I wanted to reach out and see if I can get your pants size and address.

That is in the top five for strongest ways a stranger has ever introduced themselves to me. Intrigued, I continued to read on, learning that my new admirer was in fact working for Dockers who happened to be releasing a new line of college themed khakis and somehow the Illini made the 10 team cutoff.

Now I don't know about you guys, but when a mystery lady asks me for my measurements and home address, I type in 32x32 and my postals about as quick as humanly possible. I went for a run yesterday and came home to discover a large box from Dockers outside my front door. It had finally happened. I'd reached the plateau of notoriety where people mail you pants. I'd made it.


Yes, that box is loaded with orange confetti paper and yes I am now in love with the wonderful lady who sent me this. Seriously though, these pants. I don't tend to wear khakis, as I am what you would call "lazy" and/or "youthful". But next year I start clinical rotations and you can bet I will be wearing these pants like, every damn day. As you can tell from the main picture, it says Fighting Illini inside the pants! INSIDE THE PANTS! I don't know what to do with this or the tasteful Block I that will reside comfortably above my right buttock.


I know I can't cheer in the press box, but can I get away with wearing these? If the answer is yes, they're coming home with me this winter and meeting the comfy chairs in St. Louis and Chicago. If you want your own sweet Illini pants, be ready to pay a premium for them. The price tag was still attached to my free pants. Do you love the Illini enough to pay $78 for khakis? I don't, but I don't have to pay for things because I am some sort of magic man who flits through life on the breeze. That being said, they look to be pretty decent pants.