Tim Beckman Fired From Local Grocery Store

Champaign, IL -- Illinois football coach Tim Beckman was fired from his job as a bagger at a Champaign Meijer after only one week on the job. Beckman, who just finished his first season in Champaign, took the job as a source of secondary income.

"With so much uncertainty in the economy these days, and all these crazy rumors circulating, I felt the responsible thing to do was get a second job," explained Beckman over the phone Sunday evening. "I've got kids of my own to put through college after all."

However, it appears that Beckman will have to find a way to live off the 5-year $9 million contract he signed with the University of Illinois before the 2012 season.

As for why Beckman was fired from the job, he did not offer comment. However, one former co-worker explained to The Champaign Room the reasoning behind his dismissal.

"He just wasn't very good," said a Meijer employee on the condition of anonymity. "I mean, don't get me wrong, he was a perfectly nice man, and he was nice to the customers, but he had no idea what the hell he was doing. He'd put eggs in the same bag as a gallon of milk and things like that. Just basic 'Bagger 101' stuff.

"You don't even want to know how confused he'd get when somebody asked for paper. He looked like he was trying to solve some kind of exotic equation opening that bag. And he was just so slow. We had no choice. We wish him the best in his future endeavors."

To his credit, Beckman is keeping a positive attitude about the situation.

"Jobs are going to come and go," he said. "I've accepted that. It's part of the grocery business. The good news is that now that I won't be working the five to ten shift on weeknights I can spend more time focusing on the day job.

"Every cloud has a silver lining!"

Meijer is not sure if or when it will fill Beckman's position.