From the sounds of it, these Wes Lunt updates will be coming to an end soon. According to Joe Schad, Lunt is expected to make a decision within a week.
Sounds extremely likely Wes Lunt (at Louisville today) chooses Cardinals or Illinois within a week.— Joe Schad (@schadjoe) May 28, 2013
Of course, what does within a week mean, exactly? Like, is it the seven days week, which means he'll decide before next Tuesday, or it within a week meaning this week? Will we have a decision by Saturday?
I don't know! The suspense is killing me!
No, wait, no it isn't. Time is killing me, just like time kills us all. Evil, good-for-nothing, asshole time. Killing everybody, but do the police ever do anything about it? Nope.
Anyway, back to Lunt. He's in Louisville today, and I hope that visit goes terribly. I hope he's forced to eat Papa Johns and that he's smart enough to know that Papa Johns is terrible. I hope Wes realizes that if he goes to Louisville he's going to have to eat Papa Johns for the next four years because it's the only pizza legally allowed within the Louisville borders.*
It'd also be nice if Louisville could have an earthquake today, though Louisville is more prone to Bigfoot attacks than earthquakes. Every year 300,000 people in Louisville are murdered by Bigfoots.** I hope Wes survives the trip.
**Prove it's a lie