Just because I'm in my early thirties that doesn't mean I'm not already a curmudgeonly old man. While I seem nice and I treat others well, the truth is that inside me there is a man filled with hate. Hate for stupid things that don't even deserve to be hated because they're so trivial, but damn it, I hate them anyway. These are the things I share with you in The Hate List.
I realize I could write one of these about Darren Rovell -- you broke my heart, Tyler Griffey -- but then the internet would have another story about people hating Darren Rovell, and there are plenty of those as it is. Besides, Leitch has already gone over this better than I can. Which is why this hurts a little bit because I'm about to go Rovell a bit myself.
In the summer of 2011 Rovell wrote "The 100 Twitter Rules." This angered me greatly. Not because the rules were terrible -- some of them are actually pretty damned accurate -- but because Darren Rovell honestly felt like he was the one person on Twitter who should tell other people on Twitter how to use Twitter. That's just the kind of guy he is.
My Twitter belief has always been "it's your Twitter account, do whatever the fuck you want with it."
But just because I'm all about Twitter freedom doesn't mean there aren't things people do on Twitter that piss me off like no other. And some of the people who do these things are people I consider friends.
So, in reality, I feel like you should do anything you want on Twitter except for the following:
WHEN YOU RETWEET SOMETHING, DO NOT PUT THE COMMENT "+1" OR "THIS" ON IT. SERIOUSLY.
What the fuck is the point? What are you trying to say? You have literally added nothing to the conversation other than the need to see your own stupid "thought" with the tweet.
I mean, what the fuck does +1 even mean? Plus one what? Are there points on Twitter that I'm not aware of? Can these points be redeemed for prizes?
But as pointless as the #1 is, it holds more value than saying "THIS" in a retweet. Because when you say "THIS" what you're essentially saying is "HEY, THIS IS A TWEET I AGREE WITH AND/OR THINK IS FUNNY." Well, you don't need to say "THIS" with the retweet because a retweet IS PRETTY MUCH ALREADY SAYING YOU AGREE WITH THE FUCKING TWEET OR THINK IT IS FUNNY. THAT'S WHY YOU ARE RETWEETING IT, ASSHOLE.
The only reason you add a "+1" or a "THIS" to a retweet is because you are an egomaniacal asshole. You want to take the tweet you like and make it your own. You want to see your avatar next to it, not the original tweeter's. Because then you're followers see it and they start retweeting your tweet and then, eventually, the tweet is attributed to you by all the dumbasses who follow you and their followers who saw the retweet of your retweet of the original tweet.
Which like the "+1" means absolutely nothing in the end because a tweet isn't worth shit and there are no imaginary points being given out, but the principle matters.
Just know that if you do this on Twitter I think less of you every time I see it. You're pretty much on the same level as Tom Crean.
Do you want to be on the same level as Tom Crean?
Then fucking stop it.